


Summer Days

by volatileSoloist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chronic Illness, F/M, Homophobic Language, Humanstuck, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-02 18:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4069522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volatileSoloist/pseuds/volatileSoloist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how you met the best friends of your life. You just wish it didn't involve them trying to drown you first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Two Summers

Your name is Kirk Histre, and were it not for the threat of death by heat wave, you wouldn’t be at the pool.

You feel sort of awkward sitting by yourself, but it’s not like there’s an alternative. You don’t have any friends here, and going to the pool in your town isn’t an option. You’re not a fan of being called rude names, and for what? A blood-borne disease you got from your parents? But noooooo, people always have to assume the worst, don’t they? So you sit there, hoping no one splashes off the make-up concealing the sores on your face.

This isn’t your first time you’ve been to the pool, but you’re not crazy about swimming. Okay, if you’re being totally honest, you never learned. So what if your stepdad’s a crab fisher? He can tease you all he wants, but you’re not sticking a toe in the ocean. Who knows what’s in there? The piss-warm pool isn’t much better. But the hot, summer air blows across your face as you sit by the pool, and you’d overheat if you weren’t awkwardly dangling your couldn’t-decide-if-they-are-chubby-or-stick legs into the tepid water.

Just as you’re brooding over the terrifying depths of the ocean and child-infested waters of the pool, something grabs your ankle, and before you think, you kick. It’s better than screaming, which would’ve embarrassed you even worse. But the second you see what you kick, you immediately regret it. A girl about your age rises out of the water, holding her nose in one hand. That’s not what you regret, though; she shouldn’t have grabbed your goddamn ankle! You regret the fist that flies at your groin, too quick for you to dodge. You’re too busy reeling from pain that you don’t notice you’re tipping over until you‘ve fallen face first in the water.

Immediately, you have to disregard any lingering pain because the water is rushing into your nose and mouth and you don’t know which way is up and oh god this is how you’re going to die and you always knew it would be this pathetic and---

You’re grabbed around the waist and hoisted up. You stop flailing once your head reaches the surface, and you cough out the chlorine taste and inhale sweet, sweet air. When you finally wipe the pool water (and tears) from your eyes, you see the girl who punched you, staring at you with worry. You open your mouth to really rip her a new one, but you only cough out more water. You settle for glaring murderously.

She pouts and says, “Hey, I was just trying to be playful! I see you sitting there every day looking like a literal fish out of water, and I wanted to wake you up a little. Honestly, why do you even come here if you’re not gonna swim?”

Oh, yeah, that reminds you. You push yourself toward the edge of the pool and prop yourself up. “First of all, it’s none of your goddamn business! Secondly, why the hell would you think that grabbing my foot like some sort of slimy groping sea monster would be a good idea, huh?! You deserved that nose kick; I didn’t deserve to be drowned!”

She actually hisses at you, and says, “I didn’t know you were going to sink, you little-- Don’t be such a downer! I’m sorry, okay? I was just trying to cheer you up, but clearly you’re happy to wallow in misery, and I can see when I’m not wanted. Just learn how to swim, jeez!”

Before you can retaliate, she gets out, grabs a towel, and walks away. You huff and grind your teeth before shouting after her, “I _can_ swim, you pond scum-infested soggy bread loaf!” She doesn’t respond, but you didn’t know what you would’ve done otherwise. You do know that you’re done with the pool.

\---

Fast forward to another stifling summer, and as much as you don’t really want to, you’re drawn back to the pool. It's that or get heat stroke, really. And the water, as lukewarm as it is, helps soothe your aching muscles and joints, and that’s exactly what you need today. You apprehensively slip into the water by the stairs, holding onto the railing to make sure you don’t go any deeper than you have to, and far enough that it won’t wash any of the concealer off your face. God, that’d be the worst.

Oh, wait. It’s seems you’ve underestimated. The worst is that that girl from last summer is approaching you. You start to get out of the water, but she grabs your leg from behind. You turn and give her a withering look. “Are we gonna do this a-fuckin-gain?”

She sighs and said, “I wanted to say sorry. It was rude to make fun of you after you almost died, and I can tell it’s a sensitive subject, but if you wanted… I could teach you how to swim.”

“No.”

She rolls her eyes exasperatedly. “Oh come on! I’m sure you’d rather not drown the next time you accidently fall in the pool. I’ve been thinking about this all year and I’m positive that this is for the best. You’re what, fifteen? It’s time you learned.”

You shake your head. “I don’t have to do anything! Can’t you take no for an answer, Sea Monster? What’s your problem?”

She stands, grabs your arm, and says, “You are, Grumpy-Gills,” and she pulls you into the water. You struggle initially, cursing as much as you can, but she doesn’t take a hint and pulls you out to where you can barely touch the ground with your feet. You stand stock-still, praying to whatever merciless god lies above that a current doesn’t knock you over. Drowning in barely five feet of water isn’t how you want to go.

She notices your pale face and pushes you a little closer to the stairs, but not enough for you to be able to run. Jeez, what is she, a sadist or something? You’re not far from the wall of the pool though, and maybe you can make it if you stand on your toes while you walk over. Just as the thought crosses your mind, though, she grabs your arm and says, “Not walking. You’re gonna swim there. Now lie on your back.”

“What?! Are you nuts? Last time I checked, water isn’t something you can lay on! It’s a liquid, not a solid, you absolute dingflapping b—“

“Just shut up and do it.”

You grumble, but you’re obviously not getting out of this alive without her help, so you let her guide her onto you back. The first couple of times, you flip out when you start sinking and probably swallow two liters of chlorinated water before you can manage to float.

Of course, Sea Monster is thrilled you even manage to make it this far. “Fantastic, you’re finally making some progress. You’re not such a screw-up after all!”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“Shush, or I’ll push you under. Now, I want you to make little kicking motions with your legs. No, no, _calmly,_ not _thrashing, you_ \--- there we go. See, you’re doing it!”

Timid little kick by timid little kick, you feel yourself moving through the water. You don’t realize how far you’ve gotten until your head bumps against the pool wall, causing you to freak out a little and cling to the edge. But Sea Monster is ecstatic, so you decide to tough it out a little longer. If you’re such a “natural”, you’ll be done soon and never have to get in a pool again.

She introduces you next to elementary backstroke, which involves you mimicking a bunch of stupid poses while lying on your back, though you’re surprised that you can actually move through the water with them. It’s harder to keep your head above the water, but you can actually control which direction you swim now. The only downside, as you unfortunately discover, is that it doesn’t mean much if you can’t see where you’re going.

You only discover you’re in the deep end when Sea Monster cries out, “Fantastic! Look how far you’ve gotten!”

You glance around, notice how deep the water is, and promptly flip out. Your head goes under and you thrash and you think you hear a faint whistling sound before someone, likely Sea Monster, splashes near you and brings you to the surface. Before you can rub the water from your eyes, you bite out, “Why did you have to tell me I was in the deep end?! You knew I would freak out!”

You’re not expecting somebody else to amusedly reply, “Hey, I didn’t say nothin’, kid. You’re thinkin’ of my friend back there.”

You blink the water out of your eyes, but there must still be some left because you swear you’re seeing rainbows around this guy. He’s got the lithe yet muscular body that you’ve only seen on Olympic swimmers, dorky hipster glasses tucked safely around his clinging shirt, and a dumb purple streak right down the middle of his short, blonde hair. He must be a fast swimmer, because before you can choke out a response, you’re already back at the shallow end, where Sea Monster promptly tackles you and blonde Neptune, enveloping you both in a rib-crunching hug.

“Ah, thank you so much, Erik! I was sure he was gonna be chum back there without you!”

_Clearly they’ve already got some history,_ you think as you’re crushed to death. Thankfully, Mr. Lifeguard intervenes with, “C’mon, Phepher, give the guy a break. He almost drowned, remember?” 

_Phepher?!_

You finally manage to extricate yourself from Sea Monster’s limbs, try to speak, and cough out a final bit of water. Really smooth. You turn to your student teacher and raise an eyebrow. “Please don’t tell me your name is actually ‘Phepher’, because that’s probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

_Phepher_ punches you hard on the arm, and rolls her eyes. “Don’t be an ass, it’s just a nickname!”

Erik nods. “When I moved here from Germany, I was still stuck in the dark ages of retainers, so with that and my accent, ‘Pepper’ sounded like ‘Phepher’. It just sorta stuck.”

“Oh, well, that make more sense,” you grumble out.

Erik chuckles and says, “You probably caught my name, but you haven’t said yours yet.” He turns to Pepper and says, “Care to introduce us, cuttlefish?”

You grimace internally, and probably a little externally, but Pepper doesn’t seem to notice. Her eyes widen in realization. “I never actually got his name. That’s a bad bit on my part, I guess. So, spill it, Grumpy-Gills! What’s your name?”

Oh boy, now you have a spot light. It doesn’t help that you’re not a fan of your name, either. You finally mutter out, “It’s Kirk.” Curse your dad’s affection for awful space movies.

To your good fortune, though, neither of them laughs. Erik even nods approvingly. “It’s not a borin’ one, for sure. Like the captain from—?“

You cut him off, “Yes, I know. Star Trek. My dad was pretty into it.”

Erik smiles and says, “I watched it once, but it wasn’t half-bad. Not the worst name a person could have.”

You ignore that particular sentiment in favor of analyzing the sort of cute way he pronounces his w’s, with a little bit of a stutter, like he’s still trying to remember to say it instead of ‘v’. “Yeah, sure. So, have you and Pepper been friends since you came here?”

Mr. Greek Sculpture nods and says, “Yeah. I got here when I was ten or so and we met at this very pool! We’ve been the closest of chums since then!”

He smiles at Pepper, and she rolls her eyes back at him, but in a friendly way. You’ve got sort of a pit in your stomach that makes you want to get rid of your lunch. You pantomime gagging, but neither of them notices.

It’s probably about time to evacuate before you become the third in a crowd. “Well, this was just freaking dandy, but I think I’ve had enough of the pool for today, seeing as Pepper nearly drowned me. So long, Erik. Good riddance, Sea Monster. It’s been an absolute _pleasure_.”

You leave with your sarcasm-sopping words hanging in the air, trying to ignore some vague anger in your stomach.


	2. Summer Breaking

Despite sort of storming off the previous day, you still return to the pool, where Erik and Pepper greet you with open arms. Determined, as always, to give you no reprieve, Pepper drags you back into the water. Thank god you bought some sealer for your concealer, or it’d’ve washed off in the water long ago. You don’t make much progress for the next week or so, but you can finally do something resembling a backstroke. In the meanwhile, Erik teaches you how to tread water, just in case you back yourself into the deep end again.

You get better, surprisingly, and in time, the deep end doesn’t make you as scared anymore. You actually enjoy swimming with Erik and Pepper, and the relief it brings. Even though you don’t always feel well enough to make it to the pool, they fortunately never ask questions. It’s probably because they’re too busy gazing into each other’s eyes, though. You don’t care. Why should you care? Who said anything about caring?!

Caring or not aside, all three of you spend the best summer of your life together.

Just when you finally work up the snark to ask Pepper when the wedding will be, she and Erik stop going to the pool. You arrive, ready to swim, but Pepper isn’t there, and the other lifeguards say that Erik has taken a leave of absence, and aren’t sure when he’ll be back. You guess they skipped the wedding and went straight for the honeymoon. You stop swimming, but you don’t stop going to the pool. Just to be sure.  


\---

  
You’re walking past the town park when you see Pepper again, headed in the direction of your town’s pool. You’re surprised, then happy, then angry, and finally confused. You run over, and she practically pounces on you when she sees you. “Hi, Kirk! Are you coming to the pool, too?”

Uh oh. “No, sorry, I don’t have a… membership card for this pool.”

Pepper rolls her eyes. “You don’t need a card to swim there, silly. Don’t tell me the winter’s made you scared to swim again!”

You shake your head vehemently. “I just don’t like the pool there, that’s _all_.”

She takes a step back, confused at your outburst. You can see uncertainty and the beginnings of unshed tears in her eyes, and as much as you’d wish she wouldn’t, she asks anyway. “Please come with me. It’d be nice to have a _good_ friend with me.”

She puts a strange sort of emphasis on ‘good’, and you wonder, not for the first time, why she and Erik stopped going to the pool. She doesn’t look very happy, that’s for certain. It’s almost heartbreaking, how sad she seems, and as much as you want to protect your secret, you sort of want to protect her more. You really did miss her. You finally cave. “Fine. I’ll go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you, though.”

She doesn’t pry any further, but surprises you by pulling you into a hug. You hug back after a moment.  


\---

  
As soon as you approach the gate to the pool, you know things are going to go wrong. One of your classmates, a pompous jerk with long hair with a long name you never really cared to learn (out of spite), sits in the lifeguard chair and happens to glance down at you. A scowl appears on his face and he climbs down onto the ground to bar your way inside. Oh boy, here we go.

Crossing his arms, he rumbles, “I thought I made myself quite clear, Histre, that only people with a clean bill of health are allowed in my pool. That means you aren’t welcome in here, so if you would remove yourself from the premises posthaste, that would be just perfect.”

You can tell without looking that the wheels are turning in Pepper’s head, but you have better things to worry about. People have noticed you’re here, and you can hear some nasty laughter brewing from the pool. A group begins to approach the fence, and you can’t help but groan in annoyance.

They’re no one you really know; all you need to know is that they’re bullies who are probably overcompensating for the lack of—ahem—certain prominent features. You probably shouldn’t care about what they say, but it’s hard to deny something that’s at the very least half-true.

Finally, they speak. “Get lost, faggot. We don’t want you here. You’ll get us all sick.”

“Keep your filthy hands away from us!”

“We don’t want you, or your AIDS, so step off!”

A whole chorus of them starts up, a few adults too, and you can’t say a single thing about it, really. You really wish they’d realize they can’t catch it from being near you, but that might be too much to ask. You don’t want to be near them anyway.

“Hey, shut up!” Pepper cries from next to you, jolting you out of your reverie. “Where the hell do you get off saying those things about him? You have no pass to be rude and idiotic to him! What did Kirk ever do to you, huh?”

Suddenly, the attention turns from you to Pepper. “You stay away from us too, you probably caught it from him,” they clamor.

“Did you try to hide that you’re gay by sleeping with a girl, Kirk? How pathetic.”

“Surprised he could even get laid. She’s probably easy.”

Pepper is practically frothing at the mouth, and you feel like punching someone’s teeth in, too. Instead, you drag Pepper away from the pool. When you’re far enough that you can’t hear them anymore, you slump down onto a bench. You mutter, “Do you see now why I didn’t want to go?”

Your friend sits down next to you, and turns, still angry. “Why do you let them say that stuff about you? Why don’t you stand up to them?”

You sigh, and turn to look at her. “Because most of it’s true. I’m gay. I’ve got AIDS. The only things that aren’t true are that I can give it to them like that or that I slept with someone to get it. Both of my parents had AIDS and passed it on to me. But because of the stigma it has, they automatically assume the worst.”

Pepper still seems confused. “How did they even find out? It doesn’t seem like something you’d share.”

You sigh and rub an aching shoulder. “I told an old boyfriend that I had AIDS, and he told one of his friends while he was high. That friend happened to be the long-haired jerk at the pool, and when he stopped letting me go to the pool, people asked him why. And when they found out, they took an incorrect guess about what caused it.”

Pepper just stares for a little while, before mumbling, “It’s still not right. So what if you’re gay? That’s none of their business! It doesn’t change you as a person.”

You shrug. “It doesn’t matter to them. They’ll take any flipping chance they get.” 

You sigh, and change the subject. “I showed you, now you need to tell me why you and Erik stopped going to the other pool, and why you’re clearly avoiding it now.”

Pepper bites her lip and turns away before tucking her knees up to her chest and sighing. “It’s not as important or upsetting as your problem, but if you really want to know, Erik tried asking me out, and I just wanted to stay friends with him. In the end he got angry, and he said some hurtful and worrying things and… I just haven’t been able to talk to him since then.”

You take this news in relative shock. You’d assumed their feelings were mutual, but clearly that wasn’t the case. On the other hand, this implies two different things: one, that Erik is probably straight, and two, that he’s an asshole. In the end, all you can say is, “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

Pepper shrugs. “I’m not as hurt anymore, but from what I hear, he hasn’t come back to the pool he lifeguarded at, either, and he said some sort of concerning things before he stormed off, and I haven’t been able to get in contact with him, so… I’m scared, Kirk.”

You honestly don’t know what to say, but you don’t end up having to worry about it, as she suddenly lights up, turns to you, and says, “Wait, you’re friends with him, too! Do you think you could go check up on him? I don’t really think it would be a good idea for me to show up, because what if it hurts him more? I can give you his address!”

Before you can object, she’s already handed you a slip of paper with his address, and wrapped you in a tight hug. “Thank you so much! You know this means a lot to me, and I really, really appreciate it.”

When she pulls back, she doesn’t look at you, but continues to talk and leave you reeling at how quickly you were just volunteered. It’s not the worst thing in the world; you are Erik’s friend, after all. The two of you part not long after, and you brace yourself for what may lie ahead.


	3. The Establishing of a Routine

Arriving at Erik’s house is somewhat of a shock, considering that his “house” is more of a mansion. There are at least four floors, and you can faintly see that there’s a boat out back where the property borders a large lake. Trying not to look like a nervous, awestruck fool, you advance up the walkway and knock on the large oak door. There’s no answer for a long while, and you consider ringing the doorbell; before you can, though, the door cracks open. “Whaddyawan, kid?”

A lazy, seemingly tired-sounding voice answers, and you can’t really see who it is, but it’s not Erik. You attempt to sound confident as you ask, “Does Erik Aftokra live here?”

There’s a yawn, followed by, “Who’s askin’? My stepbro ain’t really into visitors lately, ya’ know?”

That would make sense, if he was still pining over Pepper, but… is he really still that miserable? That’s kind of pathetic. “Tell him it’s Kirk. I used to go to the pool he lifeguarded at and we hung out.”

You can hear some sort of scoff, and that makes you bristle a little. Just as you’re about to tell him off for doubting you, you hear a dial tone from behind the door. A quick, quiet conversation takes place, and before you know it, the door opens wider and you can get your first clear view of the guy at the door. He’s at least twenty, and has a really strong biker vibe, if his leather jacket and swept back hair is any indicator. He has an unlit cigarette in his mouth that bobs as he smiles at you and puts out his hand. “Nice to meet ya', Kirk. My stepbro says you can go up straight to his room; it’s on the second floor, first and only door to your right. Not gonna lie, he’s a bit of a mess right now. Don’t expect too much, ya' know? Raising people’s expectations is more of my thing than his.”

You shake his hand and raise an eyebrow at his odd comment, and wince when he wiggles his back. He barks out a laugh in response and ushers you in. “Calm down, pint-size. Welcome to the Aftokra house, and make yourself at home.”

You quickly ascend the stairs, eager to get away from Erik’s weird stepbrother, and knock on the aforementioned door. A groan answers, followed by a distant, “Is that you, Kirk? C’mon in.”

You pull open the door and step into the largest bedroom you’ve ever seen, and likely will ever see. Even with the amount of junk on the floor, it’s a sight to behold. The floor-to-ceiling windows displaying what probably would be a view of the lake are closed with violet, satin drapes, bathing the room in a dim, purple glow. In the back corner, there’s a bed the size and height of an SUV, surrounded on one side by the windows, a bookshelf on the other, and an aquarium full of seahorses above where the pillow is. There are more books on the other side of the room in what appears to be a makeshift lab. In another corner lies a video gaming set-up that would make your gaming friends weep with envy; you almost want to. In the middle of all this impressiveness lies Erik.

He’s sprawled on the bed, a bucket of ice cream in one hand and a remote for the television by his bed. His hair is sort of messed up, with the purple streak fading. His glasses hang precariously over the edge of the bed. What catches your full attention is the fact that he’s wearing nothing but a plush bathrobe, and that’s enough to make you blush. You close the door behind that, and approach the bed warily. When Erik turns to look at you, he heaves a sigh and mumbles, “Did that idiot Cali give you a hard time?”

“ _Cali?_ ”

“Short for Caligula. My stepdad’s a got a thing for empires; don’t ask.”  
Okaaaay then. “Not too much. He muttered something about being the ‘sibling that gives people high expectations’, which I think was meant to be some sort of diss?”

Erik rolls his eyes and responds with, “It was meant to be some sort of flirtin’, probably. He does that to everyone, I’ve stopped lettin’ it bug me. You should too.”

You shudder a little, but you’ve more occupying things to worry about. You approach the edge of the bed, intent on just standing, but when he pats the edge of the plump mattress, you climb up the small ladder and sit on the side. You regard with vague curiosity that which occupies him, but it seems to be some obscure documentary on naval history, so it quickly loses you. “So,” you say, gesturing at the television, “I gather this was what was so exciting that made you decide to stop coming to the pool?”

Your friend chuckles dryly, and murmurs, not entirely sarcastically, “Yeah, somethin’ like that. The history of maritime wars can be pretty fascinating, ya’ know?”

You sit awkwardly for a little while longer, before you have the courage to admit, “Pepper and I are pretty worried about you, you know.”

You don’t miss him stiffening and then relaxing out of the corner of your eye. “Really?” He sounds strained. “I don’t see why you would. I’m doin’ perfectly fine and all. I’m the picture of health and happiness.”

You roll your eyes. “Look, Erik, I’m going to be brutally honest with you: you look like a stereotypical girl-after-her-first-break-up. You’ve even got the ice cream to boot. It’s been a freakin’ year. Please don’t tell me that you’re actually still pining over Pepper.”

You see a quick blur of motion, but you don’t really care until you feel something hit the side of your head. “Ow,” you hiss, looking for the offending projectile and seeing that you’ve been sideswiped with a spoon. “What the heck was that for?”

He glares at you before flopping onto his stomach and sticking his head into his pillow. His resulting sentence comes out too muffled for you to understand, and you make a point of telling him so.

He sighs, sits up, and sarcastically enunciates, “You. Don’t. Understand!” His eyes are alight with a mixture of anger and misery that sort of scares you. “She’s perfect, Kirk, she’s all I could’ve asked for, all I could’ve hoped to deserve!” He puts his face in his hands. “She put up with me for so long, and I tried to be so nice to her, and treat her like a princess, and she cast me aside! She knows I can’t handle that; she could’ve at least given it a chance!”

You stare, feeling a mixture of vague repulsion but, more prevalently, confusion. “Look, Erik, she doesn’t owe you anything. The fact that you were being nice to her doesn’t mean you deserve a fucking cookie; it’s something that should be expected from everyone. Thinking otherwise is sort of,” you wince, realizing you’re about to sound like your obnoxious, lecturing half-brother, “problematic.”

He actually whines and flops back over. “She knew how important she was to me! I put so much effort into giving toward our relationship, just for her to heartlessly toss it aside!”

You face-palm. “There was no relationship to start with, you moron! It doesn’t matter how you treated her; if you really cared about her, you’d let her go, and accept that she doesn’t feel that way about you. It’s time to move on, Erik. It’s been a goddamn year already. It can’t be that hard for you to find someone new.”

He groans, pulls his hair, and stares at you with what you can only describe as the biggest case of puppy-eyes you’ve ever seen. “It is! I literally can’t handle it! You don’t understand how much it wrecks me to feel like this, to feel worthless and alone!”

“Oh my god, Erik, maybe you feel alone because you never leave your goddamn house! Pull yourself together, get outside, and meet new people! You’re built like a Greek god, and you’re pretty fun to hang out with once people get past your exterior eccentricities; it will _not_ be that hard for you to find someone.”

You sigh, and rub your face with your palm. When you’re met with tense silence, you turn to look at Erik and find him staring at you appraisingly. The switch between misery and hopefulness is almost jarring. “You really think I’m all those things, Kirk?”

Your eyes dart between him and the door. _He is literally so desperate that he’s going to jump on any sort of attention,_ you think, slightly panicked, before another voice reminds you of your slightly dormant crush on him. You don’t really want to be his rebound, though, if that’s even the way he swings. You attempt to save face with a nonchalant, “Well, yeah, it’s hard for anyone not to notice. I spent a whole summer being your friend, you think I would believe there was nothing good about you?”

That doesn’t seem to make him back down in the slightest. He sits up and scoots a little closer to you. Then, all of a sudden, there’s an abrupt switch back to sadness. “If that were really the truth, then why couldn’t Pep see any of that?”

_And we’re back to square one._ You face-palm again, and thank your extensive knowledge of shitty romcoms for providing you with enough material to bullshit through the monologue about relationships you’re about to give him. “She probably did. That still doesn’t mean she’d want to date you, though. It’s not always about someone’s qualities; it’s about a sort of deep connection, and not everyone has it. Even the closest of friends don’t even come that close. Romantic and platonic relationships are two entirely different things!”

He seems to sort of process that for a few minutes, before responding, “But, don’t most relationships start with two people bein’ friends, and then fallin’ in love?”

He’s almost as much of a hopeless romantic as you are. You wonder how he grew up this sheltered, though. “Life isn’t like a movie, Erik. Yes, some romantic relationships grow from platonic ones, but that doesn’t mean it’ll always be the case. Some people start dating as total strangers and grow to like each other from there. If the first one doesn’t seem to be working for you, then you could try to go for the second route.”

He sighs and falls flat onto the bed. “I dunno, Kirk. I’ll never be able to find a gal who was as good as to me as Pepper was. She’s forever ruined me!”

“Ugh, don’t be so dramatic, Erik. If you really feel that strongly about not dating another woman, then find a boyfriend or a datemate or something. There’re lots of options out there.”

His eyes quickly flicker to you, narrowed with suspicion. “How did you know I was pan? Did Pep tell you? What else did she tell you?”

“No, I just… guessed.”

He doesn’t seem totally satisfied. “Really… just keep it on the down-low, okay? I don’t want that many people to know. It might steer off some of my potential dates, ya’ know?”

You do know. There’s enough hypocrisy in the non-straight community as it is, and you’ve seen the ugly side of it once or twice. “Yeah, our community can be awful sometimes.”

Oh, you’ve fucked up. He sits up straight again. “What do you mean, ‘our’?”

You don’t have the energy to backtrack; this has been a very tiring conversation. “Okay, since it’s confession time for both of us, I’m gay. It’s not a big deal.”

But it is a big deal; at least it is for Erik. He’s got that appraising look again, and half of you craves it while the other is desperately looking for a way out. Sure, he can be kind of an entitled diva sometimes, but he’s mostly nice, and you could work on correcting some of his mistaken notions, the craving half argues. _But would he listen? He’d probably not worry about his flaws if he was dating someone,_ replies the unwilling half.

“…you just called me cute not that long ago.”

“I compare you to a god and this is what I get, go figure.”

He puts a hand on your shoulder and said, “I know we’re just ‘friends’, and if you want to take it slow, that’s... that’s fine, but… do you think you’d give me a chance? You’re funny, and pretty cute yourself. I know I never really said anything about it before, but I was sort of centered around Pep, ya’ know? But I always thought you were pretty cool, and more than once I considered maybe asking you out. I know it wasn’t fair of me to shut you out, and I’m sorry I was so self-centered. But I promise I’ll get better! I’ll put my fair share into building this relationship.”

_Say yes,_ says half of you. _He’s attractive, funny, and interesting._

_Say no,_ says the other. _He’s using you to get over Pepper._

“I… I need more time to think. It’s a bit sudden.”

Mercifully, he doesn’t push the subject. And that’s an improvement already. You still can’t get over how antsy he looks, though.

\---

Going over to Erik's house has become sort of a norm for you; you're invited over basically every weekend now, though, to be honest, you could visit during the week, since you're mostly homeschooled now and he has been since he was a kid. He's probably just acquiescing to your wish for time, though. You knock on the front door, hoping his skeevy stepbrother's not going to be the one to answer, and are genuinely surprised when Erik opens the door. He practically beams at you and pulls you into a hug. "Hey, how are ya', Kirk? Right on time, as usual."

Once you escape his clutches, you walk inside and shrug off your coat. "My stepdad likes making sure I'm on time to places, that's all; if it were up to me, I'd've slept in today."

Erik rolls his eyes. "Puh- _lease,_ like you have anything else to be doing today."

In truth, you don't. You don't have any other friends within driving distance besides Pepper and him, and Pepper has a far more active social life than Erik and you combined. None of your online friends have been able to chat lately anyway, most of them being cerebral people that actually use their weekends to study. Eggheads.

You walk inside, and together you climb the stairs to the second floor suite. The curtains are actually open today, and you get a wonderful view of the lake, just as you expected there'd be. The fact that they're open is vastly encouraging, since you've been nagging him about it for a month now. "Nice view," you tease.

Erik wiggles his eyebrow and replies, "Me, or the lake?"

You roll your eyes and punch him in the arm. "Don't push it, Alabaster. I'll let you do enough admiration for the both of us."

Erik heaves an over-exaggerated sigh before heading over to his gaming set-up. You don't actually want to play games, for once. Instead, you gesture to his little lab. "What are you working on up here? You've never actually gotten into it with me."

He lights up like he's been waiting for you to ask ( _and he probably has,_ you think dryly), and pulls you over to one of the lightly chemical-stained countertops. "I'm sort of an alchemist as a hobby, but I'm lookin' into lasers as a career."

He shows you his miniature laser, which is actually sort of interesting, and he volunteers to give you a demonstration. _Well, why not?_ Should be interesting, after all. He shows you a selection of minerals and metals, and after a brief moment, you select a block of dark red metal he insists is of his own invention, and is ten times stronger than steel. He arranges it on a small platform below the laser, enters a design into the console next to it, gives you a pair of protective goggles, and activates the beam.

Even with the goggles, it's hard to look directly at the laser, which is bright white and practically pulsing with energy. It makes a loud, piercing whine as it moves through the metal, but it's over relatively quickly. Using a pair of tongs, Erik dunks the hot metal into a basin of cold water, and when he pulls it out, there's a small piece of metal in the shape of-- oh dear god, why?

In the pair of tongs, he holds a small-scale model of the Starship Enterprise. "Here you go, _Kirk._ "

He hands it to you and you inspect it with a cynical eye. It's very detailed work for a laser, and you tell him so; he beams and starts going on about how he's going to make precision lasers a new facet of the science industry and he's working toward making a portable, handheld one. You don't understand a lot of the scientific jargon he throws around, but it's nice to see him genuinely excited for once. It's a refreshing change from all his moping.

"--- and Pepper thought it was really interesting!" He concludes, and you give him disapproving look.

"O-oh, yeah. I know... I’m sorry. How did _you_ like it, Kirk?" You've been reminding him not to dwell on the past anymore, and at least this is better than when he'd sulk after you pointed it out. He’s been getting better at realizing he doesn’t need her approval, as harsh as that sounds. 

He’s staring at you like his entire life hinges on whether you like it or not. He doesn’t really need yours, either, but you’ll put that one aside for later. You turn the small ship over in your hands with a look of mock scrutiny once more. “That laser will change the face of the model-spaceship industry for sure, Erik.”

He laughs, and you feel a small burst of pride. It feels good to make him happy, since he doesn’t seem to be capable of making himself cheerful. You shove him toward the gaming set-up. “Alright, enough showing off, you skunk-striped windbag. I’m about to kick your ass at being a pirate assassin.”

“You’re talkin’ to the pirate king, bro. You’re so gonna lose.”

_We’ll see about that,_ you think, picking up your controller. You slip the mini Enterprise into your pocket to make sure you don’t lose it. You’re still not a fan of the movies, but you’re not going to throw away something this special.


	4. The Fall

“Ta-daa!” Erik proclaims, stepping into the room to show off his… Harry Potter costume?

You quirk an eyebrow. “Really? Don’t most people stop dressing as Harry Potter when they’re thirteen?”

He winces, but then heaves a dramatic sigh. “What’s wrong with wizards? I ain’t most people, Kirk! You have no taste, I swear. It’s not like your costume's goin’ where no one’s gone before.”

You roll your eyes at the jab, and regard your own attire. You still can’t believe he managed to convince you to be Captain Kirk for his big Halloween party. You’re going to look like such a nerd. “It was not my first choice, and you know it. I only agreed because you bribed me!”

He nods with a smug grin. You only wore it because he promised he’d let you invite whomever you wanted. You initially wanted to invite Pepper, but he said he’d already done that, so she didn’t count. Instead, you settled for one of your cousins, Natasha. She’s decent company, and while not a lot of people invite her to parties due to her odd excitability, you'd decided she’d liven things up a little.

Before you can banter any further, you hear a loud burst of chattering from downstairs, which must mean that the first batch of guests has arrived. Because Caligula already called the boat for his party, Erik’s friends are partying in his massive, fully furnished basement. He actually also invited the parents of all the guests, so a group of your relatives and immediate family will be having a semi-formal dinner party with his folks on the first floor. By some strange yet merciful twist of fate, your half-brother Keidan already knew Caligula, so you didn’t have to deal with him at the party because he was already on the boat. Birds of a feather flock together, and Keidan and Caligula are both insufferable, so you imagine they make great friends. At least he’s out of your hair.

The two of you head down the two flights of the stairs to the basement, and are immediately hit with the intense vibrations of a bass dropping at near terminal velocity. Erik pulls you along while you recover from the initial impact the music’s volume. The basement is already crowded, though people make way for him when he walks by, which is fortunate for you, since you’re being unfortunately being reminded of your claustrophobia. The lighting isn’t half bad, though; it’s a mixture of UV and soft jack-o-lantern light, so the room is dappled with purple and orange.

The room itself is more like a small soccer field than a basement. At one end, there’s a DJ booth, and at the other, a bar. You managed to convince him not to stock it with alcohol like he’d initially been planning, but instead make it a BYOB event. You didn’t want to deal with a horde of drunken people tonight; it’s amazing you even had the strength to attend this kind of party, given you’ve been under the weather lately. Instead of liquor, the bar’s full of every soda you could name and ones you couldn’t dream of naming. You grab a bottle of some sort of Japanese soda and pop it open, looking for one of the quieter spots in the room but finding none.

Erik, by some miracle, notices your discomfort. “We also have access to the pool and gardens, remember? It’s probably a little quieter out there.”

You do remember; he made a point to ask you to bring a swimsuit, after all. The two of you make your way to the staircase in the corner, and while you attract some of the party with you, it is actually less crowded outside. You slip into a changing booth and skin out of your Star Trek costume as soon as possible. You feel more comfortable being half-naked than in that getup, go figure.

By the time you emerge, Erik’s already swimming a few laps around the pool, so you hop in as well. It’s been awhile since you swam, but you haven’t really forgotten how. Nevertheless, you decide to stay in the shallow end, since most of the swimmers have congregated in the deep end, leaving less room for you. It’s nice and warm in the pool, which is pleasant compared to the cold, October air.

You count ten laps before Erik finally stops and sits next to you. He sits back and gazes at the skies, which, while mostly masked with clouds, show a small smattering of stars. He looks relatively at peace, despite looking around and checking his phone from time to time. You have an uneasy feeling about just who he’s looking for.

He jumps when his phone buzzes, and he gets out of the pool to answer it. You watch him pacing around as he talks, and at first while you can’t hear what he says, his voice rises loud enough that you catch, “ _Why do I even bother with you anymore!? Do you even care about me at all?_ ”

He hangs up, exhales, smoothes back his hair, and walks inside. You linger, uncertain, in the pool before drying off and heading back into the house.

He’s exactly where you’d imagined he was, too. Surprisingly, he left his door unlocked. Then again, he is the type who wants to be comforted, even if he’s hard to get through to at first. He’s lying on his back in his bed, with his hands pressed up to his face. You hope you’re imagining that he’s shuddering, but it’s all too real. He ignores you as you climb up and sit beside him, and you sit there for a while, gathering your thoughts. You decide to cut to the chase. “So why couldn’t she come?”

Erik doesn’t say anything at first, instead letting out a pathetic sort of sniffle. He finally mutters, “She went to someone else’s party. I’m throwin’ the biggest party in the area, and she blows me off completely.”

 _Oh brother._ You’re about to dive back into the ‘she doesn’t owe you anything’ stance you’ve been trying to get him to realize when he says, “And to top it all off, I was plannin’ on apologizin' to her tonight. For how I acted after she said no. I spent a whole week thinkin’ up what I was gonna say, and I just completely blew it by getting mad again. Now she’ll never talk to me again.”

You put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, and can’t stop yourself from yelping when he throws himself at you, pulls you down, hugs you tight, and begins to cry into your shoulder. You’re more than mildly uncomfortable in this situation—you’re both half naked and _in his bed,_ but you know that being intimate is the last thing on his mind. So you let him cry himself out on your shoulder, as you pat him as reassuringly as you can. Sensitivity has never been your strong suit, but you’re _trying._

When most of his sniffles have subsided, you murmur, “Your worth is not defined by Pepper, Erik. I know she meant a lot to you, but you need to accept that her opinion can’t be what you live for. This was a fantastic party before you got her call, and it can be after, if you want. Maybe tonight won’t be the night to make amends, but there’s no reason to believe that it’ll never happen. We can get together another time, just the three of us. There’ll be less stress on the two of you, at any rate. Besides, she could’ve gotten the invitation to that other dude’s party before yours. I’m sure it wasn’t anything personal.”

Erik just lays there and thinks for a while before reaching out a hand and grabbing a clump of tissues and messily wiping his face. After a while, he mumbles, “I don’t really wanna go back down. You wanna get a butler to bring some stuff up?”

You roll your eyes and nod. The last thing you need is more junk food, but hey, it’s a party and it’s prime time to indulge yourself.

Or maybe not. Before you know it, there’s a banging at the door, and an all too familiar voice. “Kiiirk, are you in there? Your step-dad wanted me to find you!”

It’s Natasha. She has no filter, if she sees you like this—

It’s too late. The door bangs open and she takes one look and her eyes widen and she yells out gleefully, “Holy shit!”

“Shit, Natasha, get back here and shut up!”

You scramble out of Erik’s arms and practically jump out of the bed, but Natasha’s already racing downstairs. By the time you make it, panting and out of breath, it’s too late. She’s clearly already told your step-dad.

And he looks murderous.


	5. The Fallout and Reconstruction

“What the hell were you doing, Kirk? I didn’t raise you to be like this! Do you realize how embarrassing this is for me?!”

You’re back at home, trying to weather the worst argument you’ve ever had with your step-dad. Blinking back tears, you yell back at him, “You _can’t_ raise someone to be gay, fuckhead! I was _born_ this way. And it’s not the end of the world!”

He raises his hand, but you don’t flinch. Instead, you catch his wrist. He can’t bully you into submission with this; you’ve had enough of his homophobic nonsense. He tries to yank his hand out of your grip, but you hold on with what strength you have. “I am not broken! I didn’t choose to be this way, this is just how it is! It’s the twenty-first century, how do you not understand this? I don’t hate you for liking women, why do you hate me for liking men?”

He shouts back, “Because it isn’t natural and it’s a sin! It’s Adam and Eve! That’s how it was meant to be!”

He finally frees himself from your grip and rubs his wrist as if he were scared your gayness was contagious. “Pack your stuff and leave. I don’t want people like you in my house.”

That’s what hits home and starts the waterworks. “I was here first! You can’t kick me out of my own home, you jackass. If you can’t deal with me, then you leave! My mom would never have let you do this, and you know it!”

He glowers at you and says, “Yeah, well, she's dead, isn't she? The house belongs to me, _not_ you. If you’re not out in fifteen minutes, I’m going to burn everything in your room, and maybe you along with it! Now scram!”

You shrink back and then yell, “Fine! I don’t want to live with garbage like you anyway!”

You run back to your room and slam the door. It’s juvenile but you don’t give a shit. You want to flop down and cry but you don’t have the time. To be honest, you're scared he's going to follow through with his threat. You grab your biggest suitcase and pack everything you can: most of your clothes, all of your romcoms, a few video games, and your dwindling bottle of medication. You’re stuffing your backpack with toiletries when your phone makes a notification noise. You dig it out of your pocket to find a single message:

From: Erik Aftokra  
Both of my dads would be cool with you living with us, if your step-dad’s being an ass about it.

\---

Duke (Erik’s stepdad insists you call him by his name, so you do) drives you and Erik to the pool. Erik’s fidgeting, so you can tell he’s really nervous. You can understand it, but if you know Pepper, she’s going to try to make the best of this. You explained what’d happened behind the scenes when you told her you’d been kicked out of your house, and while she’d still be a little hurt by his words, she was willing to give him another chance.

By the time you finally pull up to the curb of the park, Erik’s practically shaking the car. Duke turns around and places a hand on Erik’s shoulder to calm him down. At least he stops fidgeting. Duke flashes him a smile and says, “Look, kid, it’s alright. I’m almost positive she’ll forgive you. I know her folks, and they’re good people. I’m sure they’ve raised her the same. Just relax and have fun, you know?”

Erik takes a deep breath, exhales, and nods, while failing to look relieved. He gives Duke a weak smile and says, “Don’t know what I did to get a cool step-dad like you.”

Duke barks out a laugh and unlocks the car doors. “Nothing, aside from having a pretty awesome dad. You deserve to be happy, kid. The sooner you realize that, the better. Happiness leads to confidence and then to success.”

You both pop open your respective doors, say a quick thank you, and wave as Duke drives off, leaving you standing in front of the pool gate. Pepper isn’t here yet, but she lives farther away than the two of you. That doesn’t calm Erik down any, though. You both strip down to your swim trunks and dangle your feet into the pool. It’s nice to not be alone this time, a fact you’re reminded of when Erik leans on you a little.

You’ve been careful to be more supportive in the past months. You never realized that his dependence on other people was actually a mental issue, but when you found out, you made sure his comfort was a high priority. You’ve noticed that he’s been less outwardly depressed or anxious as of late, but you’re not so cocky as to believe it’s because of you. You pat his shoulder comfortingly and murmur, “She’ll come. Don’t worry too much. The fact that she’s willing to come means she cares.”

Both of you drift off into a sort of mildly stressed, slightly relaxed silence.

A silence quite rudely broken with a bucket of cold water over your heads. Erik actually shrieks, and you lash backwards, managing to grab the ankle of your assailant. “Oh, you’re such a hypocrite, Grumpy-Gills. Who’s grabbing whose ankle now?”

You and Erik blink the water out of your eyes to see the lovely sight of Pepper herself. Erik jumps up and immediately grabs Pepper and pulls her into a hug. The latter is stiff for a few moments, but she relaxes and reciprocates. Erik is actually crying. When he finally pulls away, he gets down on both knees, clasps his hands together and says, “Phepher… I’m so sorry for the way I treated you, both that summer and on Halloween. I was actin’ like such an ass, and I realize now that I should’ve never just expected you to feel the same way, and I should’ve accepted that. Instead I treated you awfully, and I don’t expect you to forgive me… please, just know that I’m really sorry.”

His eyes are shut, and he’s wincing like he’s expecting to be hit. Pepper just smiles, reaches down, and ruffles his hair, causing him to blink his eyes open and give her a slightly indignant, mostly relieved look. “Hey, I made special effort to put water-resistant product in today!”

Pepper rolls her eyes and grins widely. “I forgive you. Just don’t worry me like that again, silly!”

Erik looks extremely, but pleasantly, surprised, and he gets up to hug her once more. It’d be almost like a romcom moment if you didn’t know it was platonic. When it gets to be boring, you reach up, grab the back of Erik’s shirt, and pull him backwards into the pool. His half-yelp-half-glub is amusing to hear, though he retaliates by pulling you in as well. You thrash your way to the surface in time to be splashed by Pepper’s cannonball.

When you finish coughing out water, Erik proposes that the three of you race each other around the pool. You know you’re no match for the two of them, but you agree anyway. Like you predicted, you’re left in the metaphorical dust, but you’re fine tailing behind and watching the two of them getting along again. It’s nice for a change.

In the end, Erik actually wins; you wonder if Pepper let him. You and Pepper make him take a few victory laps. While you watch, Pepper begins to talk to you. “It’s so great to see him happy again. I’m glad he’s moved on. Out of curiosity, has he met anyone else? He’s the kind of guy who’s never single for long.”

You hope against hope that she’ll take your blushing for sunburn, and mumble, “No one, yet. I think he’s waiting for someone.”

Of course, as observational as Pepper is, she notices your blush. A smirk begins to slide across her face. “How did your step-dad find out you were gay again? You told me Natasha ratted you out, but I know her, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t know that before the Halloween party. What were you _doing_?”

You wish you didn’t have any blood to blush with, and you decide to just get it over with. “Erik was upset that you weren’t there, and I let him hug me to calm him down, but we were in his bed and both of us only had our swim trunks on. Natasha burst in on us.”

You can see the wheels turning in her head. “You let him hug you? You never seemed like the touchy-feely kind to me.”

“How could I say no? Dude was wrecked.”

“Are you two dating yet?”

“No! I mean, he asked me out, but I wasn’t ready to say yes. There’s nothing official.”

“You’ve been good for him,” she says, “and that’s all I want for him: someone who makes him happy. And you’re happier too. I can tell. Trust me, Kirk, you deserve it.”

She’s still grinning like a shark, and you figure you’ll let this one go. You’re not going to convince her otherwise. That happens to be the moment Erik finishes his lap. “What are you two plottin’ over here?”

He’s smiling himself, and there’s not a hint of suspiciousness, regret or bitterness, and you find yourself falling for him all over again. He wears happiness well, and you wonder if he was truly happy when you first met, because if he was vibrant then, he’s blooming now.

Pepper turns to Erik with a warm smile. “Just catching up. It _has_ been a while.”

“Too long,” says Erik.

“Going to have to agree,” you chime in.

The three of you begin to laugh, and it just feels so natural. Perhaps Pepper’s right. There’s been a change for the better for sure.


	6. Oh, Those Summer Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Also Known As: The Epilogue.

You sit on the deck of the Aftokra boat, with the wind in your hair and the blinding sunset in your eyes. Despite all that, the view is rather nice. You’d be cold, probably, but since you’re pressed up against Erik’s side, you don’t mind the wind as much. You’re proud of how far he’s come since he asked you out a year ago in his home. He doesn’t mention Pepper as much anymore in the way he used to. You spent this past summer back at the pool as a group of friends again. It was amazing to be able to get together without any of the underlying stress that’d almost broken your friendships. Erik was more carefree, Pepper continued to be happy that he was moving on, and you continued to ignore her smug grin whenever she caught you staring at Erik, no matter how much you insisted that nothing was official.

Erik continued to bloom beyond his old life. He’s made some real progress with his lasers, and he’s caught the eyes of more than one scientific organization with his work. You wouldn’t be surprised if he started cutting deals by Christmas. But as long as you’re here, you’re going to make sure he doesn’t get too big for his britches.

As for you, you take your homeschooling lessons with Erik’s tutor, and it’s a vast improvement to classroom learning; here, there’s no one to make fun of you or call you rude names when the teacher’s back is turned. And fortunately for you, your symptoms seem to be lessening with the medication Duke and Shel (Erik’s birth dad) have been so considerately buying for you. It’s been such a long time since you felt this healthy and at peace.

You’re broken out of your reverie when a waiter emerges from below deck with a plate of sweets and a small pot of chocolate fondue. Erik wastes no time in spearing a strawberry, dipping it in chocolate, and then offering it to you with a smug grin. “Open wide.”

For a few seconds, you consider resisting, but you shrug and open up. No harm in a chocolate strawberry. The fondue is creamy and the strawberry is sweet and the night in general is just perfect.

You finish chewing and turn to him, surprised at how close he’s gotten to you. His smile is earnest and his eyes are aglow, and he doesn’t even have to ask again for you to know what he’s trying to say.

You sigh amusedly and finally give in. You turn to him with a smile and reply, “Yes.”

The overjoyed look on his face is comforting. As he hugs you tight, you reflect on how this’ll be a nice story to relay to Pepper tomorrow. Assuming, of course, Erik ever lets you go long enough to go see her. In truth, getting trapped in his muscular arms isn’t the worst fate you could have. In fact, this is about as close to a happy ending as you’re liable to get. And you know what?

You’ll take it with open arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed. This was written for friends-of-redjenny on Tumblr, go check them out!


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